I decided
early on in my life that I wanted to work with animals. My particular interest
was animals with whom I could openly communicate--animals like dogs and horses
that engaged with people in specific jobs and partnerships that were mutually
beneficial. I was fascinated with the idea that we can dialogue with other
species and form meaningful bonds across significant barriers.
When I became a parent, it didn’t
take long to draw the parallels between communicating with animals and
fostering effective communication with my children. While communication between
parents and children is ultimately more nuanced than between a dog owner and
her precious pet or work companion, some of the challenges we face in
communicating with our kids can make us feel as though we’re speaking with
another species!
Learning
to communicate effectively with our children requires both expressing ourselves
clearly and listening well. As much as we desire to be understood and respected
as parents, it is equally important that we make every effort to understand and
respect our children. Respect does not always mean to defer to someone else,
but to acknowledge where they are and to honor their role in whatever stage
they are in. As parents, it’s our responsibility to encourage healthy
communication with our children and to teach them effective communication
skills. The following four principles can help significantly in that pursuit by
fostering a loving, ongoing dialogue between parent and child.
- Acknowledge your child where they are, not where you think they ought to be.
- Extend your child the right to be imperfect.
- Communicate with integrity: Mean what you say and say what you mean.
- Be proactive. It is up to you to foster healthy lines of communication with your kids, not vice versa.
